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Ending a Troubled Marriage – Preparing for the Next Chapter of Your Life

Marriages are often linked to the ‘happily ever after’ concept where everything works out perfectly. However, a marriage is often not entirely a bed of roses. A bad marriage or a toxic relationship can take a severe toll on the person who is at the receiving end of the toxicity, mentally and physically.

Many people struggle for a long time, even when the relationship has turned sour, before deciding on whether to stay or leave. If you are in a bad marriage, one of the most difficult decisions you face relates to ending your marriage. These steps can help you amicably end your troubled marriage and transition as smoothly as possible to the next phase of your life.

Think about how your marriage is impacting you

Some signs of a bad marriage include absence of intimacy, lack of communication, a feeling of isolation and emotional withdrawal. Harsh criticism, minimization of your experiences or feelings and intimidation are glaring signs of a toxic relationship.

If you have children, exposing them to resentment, daily arguments, or an abusive/violent relationship will impact them both in the short and long term.

Consider how your marriage is impacting your:

• Health: Your health gets compromised if you are always stressed, are not sleeping well, or are not eating healthy foods.
• Job: Lack of attention or moodiness may be impacting your performance at work.
• Other relationships: Your sadness, anger or frustration may be impacting your children, other family members and friends.

If this resonates with you, no matter how anxious or nervous you feel, breaking up with your spouse is the best option.

Read More: 7 Keys to a Peaceful Divorce

Prepare yourself

Once you make the decision to end the marriage, educate yourself on the process of divorce, your rights and financial implications of leaving your partner.
Preparing yourself is also important in terms of creating a safety net. Think about

• Where you will stay during and after the divorce
• how your matrimonial assets are going to be divided
• What possessions you need to live independently
• whether you can continue in your present job or you need to take up training to get a job

Gather the documents

Consulting an experienced Singapore divorce lawyer can help you get the information and guidance you need to take the next steps. Your Singapore divorce lawyer will advice you on the documents you will need, evidence you need to gather, and the steps you can take to secure your financial well-being. When there is physical or verbal harassment, your lawyer may advise you to gather these as evidence:

• Medical reports and dated pictures of injuries you suffered due to the abuse
• Police reports if you have contacted the police regarding the violence
• Testimony from your witnesses

Talk to your spouse

As hard as it may be, it is important to let your spouse know why the marriage is not working for you. Think about the best way to break the news to your partner. Talk about your feelings rather than the other person’s behaviour while being as clear and calm as you can during the conversation.

Engage a Singapore Divorce Lawyer / Divorce Coach

In case of an abusive relationship or unreasonable behaviour on part of one spouse, it can become difficult to agree on divorce terms. A contested divorce may be the only option if your spouse refuses to sit down and talk with you or is intent on ‘punishing’ you for taking the step. While a contested divorce is stressful, a compassionate and knowledgeable divorce lawyer in Singapore trained in divorce coaching can help make the process as stress-free as possible by

• Protecting your rights, related to marital assets, maintenance and child custody, care and control.
• Resolving complex issues and suggest alternative divorce grounds as applicable
• Giving you the information you need at every stage to stay mentally and financially prepared
• negotiating on your behalf for the best outcome